I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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