I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
