This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
