she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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