I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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