google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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