Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
