MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
