Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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