his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
