lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
