apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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