dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
