actually, I'm a sock model
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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