We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
