I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
