i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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