She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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