This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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