just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
