he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
