If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
