I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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