it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
