Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
