i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
