i think i have two assholes
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
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my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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