Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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