Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
