my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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