I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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