So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We have started to decorate penises.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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