I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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