think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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