hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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