Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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