Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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