You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
