hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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