News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
