i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
