I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
