it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
