I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
