I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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