dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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