Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
COCAINE IS GR8
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
