So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
