the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
