Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
