in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
