dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
