No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
