How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize