Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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