My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
