I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
