You just made me feel so damn special
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
do nipples grow back?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
