My nipple is on Facebook.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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