There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
