I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
