Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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