dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
