I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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