My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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