Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
